only you would photoshop your dick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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