I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
