his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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