I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize