I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
