Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
