It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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