Farmville is her only friend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
