And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
