If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
