I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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