What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I just put wine in my tea
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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