and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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