Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
