why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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