I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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