i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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