You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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