i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
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she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wear drunk well.
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