Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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