Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
