I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
