her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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