I just cut my nipple shaving
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
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