dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
