so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
