Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
