hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
