Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
NoShamevember. You game?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
