Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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