There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
