Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
