Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
