Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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