Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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