This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
