i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
