I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
