he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
