Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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