stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
