I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize