haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize