meet me or not, i'm out of control
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
