yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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