it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
