I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
