i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
