I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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