I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
where am i from again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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