I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
