I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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