So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
