Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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