Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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