I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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