Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
