My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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