Screwed.edu
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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