I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
