I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
