It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
