I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
