Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
