this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
