He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
