Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
