Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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